QUESTION : Why did you not, according to your wont, take your co-workers into confidence and carry them with you before embarking on this novel practice3 ? Why this secrecy ?
GANDHIJI : No secrecy was intended. Everything was fortuitous. Previous consultation with friends was ruled out by the very nature of the thing. Besides, I hold that previous consent was unnecessary. At the same time I should have insisted on ventilating the matter thoroughly at the very start. If I had only done that, much of the present trouble and commotion would have been avoided. The omission was a serious flaw. I was asking myself as to what would be an appropriate penance for it when Thakkar Bapa came. You know the rest of the story.
Q. The irreparable harm, if you weaken the foundation of the moral order on which society rests and which has been built up by long and painful discipline, is obvious.But no corresponding gain is apparent to us to justify a break with established tradition. What is your defence ? We are not out to humiliate you or to score a victory over you. We only wish to understand.
G. No moral progress or reform is possible if one is not prepared to get out of the rut of orthodox tradition. By allowing ourselves to be cribbed by cast-iron social conventions, we have lost. The orthodox conception of the ninefold wall of protection in regard to brahmacharya is in my opinion inadequate and defective. I have never accepted it for myself. In my opinion even striving after the true brahmacharya is not possible by keeping behind it. For 20 years I was in closest touch with the West in South Africa. I have known the writings on sex by eminent writers like Havelock Ellis and Bertrand Russell and their theories. They are all thinkers of eminence, integrity and experience. They have suffered for their convictions and for giving expression to the same. While totally repudiating institutions like marriage, etc., and the current code of moralsÑand there I disagree with themÑthey are firm believers in the possibility and desirability of purity in life independently of those institutions and usages. I have come across men and women in the West who lead pure lives although they do not accept or observe the current usages and social conventions. My research runs somewhat in that direction. If you admit the necessity and desirability of reform, of discarding the old, wherever necessary, and building a new system of ethics and morals suited to the present age, then the question of seeking the permission of others or convincing them does not arise. A reformer cannot afford to wait till others are converted; he must take the lead and venture forth alone even in the teeth of universal opposition. I want to test, enlarge and revise the current definition of brahmacharya, by which you swear, in the light of my observation, study and experience. Therefore, whenever an opportunity presents itself I do not evade it or run away from it.On the contrary, I deem it my duty-dharma-to meet it squarely in the face and find out where it leads to and where I stand. To avoid the contact of a woman or to run away from it out of fear, I regard as unbecoming of an aspirant after true brahmacharya. I have never tried to cultivate or seek sex contact for carnal satisfaction. I do not claim to have completely eradicated the sex feeling in me. But it is my claim that I can keep it under control.
Q. We are not aware of your ever having put before the people at large these ideas of yours. On the contrary we have all along known you to have put before the public ideas with which we are familiar, and which we have associated with your striving. What is the explanation ?
G. Even today, so far as the people in general are concerned, I am putting before them for practice what you call my old ideas. At the same time, for myself, as I have said, I have been deeply influenced by modern thought. Even amongst us there is the Tantra school which has influenced Western savants like Justice Sir John Woodroffe. I read his works in Yeravada prison. You have all been brought up in the orthodox tradition. According to my definition, you cannot be regarded as true brahmacharis. You are off and on falling ill; you suffer from all sorts of bodily ailments. I claim that I represent true brahmacharya better than any of you. You do not seem to regard a lapse in respect of truth, non-violence, non-stealing, etc., to be so serious a matter. But a fancied breach in respect of brahmacharya, i.e., relation between man and woman, upsets you completely. I regard this conception of brahmacharya as narrow, hidebound and retrograde. To me truth, ahimsa and brahmacharya are all ideals of equal importance. They all call for an equal measure of striving on our part, and lapse in respect of any of them is to me a matter of equal concern. I maintain that my conduct in no way constitutes a departure from the true ideal of brahmacharya. As against it, brahmacharya which reduces itself to a system of prescriptive do's and don'ts and which is in vogue amongst us today has a baneful effect upon society; it has lowered the ideal and robbed it of its true content. I deem it my highest duty to put these prescriptive conventions and taboos in their proper place and to releasethe ideal from the fetters that have been put upon it.
Q. One last question. If your attitude and practice constitutes such an advance in the cultivation of true self-restraint, why does not its beneficial effect show in your surroundings ? Why do we find so much disquiet and unhappiness around you ?
Why are your companions emotionally unhinged?
G. I know well the shortcomings as well as virtues of my companions. You do not know their other side. You jump to hasty conclusions from superficial observation, which is unbecoming in a striver after truth.I am not so lost as you seem to think. I can only ask you to have faith in me.
I cannot give up at your bidding what to me is a matter of deep conviction. I am sorry, I am helpless.
Q. We cannot say we have been convinced. We feel unhappy . We cannot leave the matter here. We shall continue to strive with you. Should you again feel prompted to go against the established rules, just think of your sorrowing friends.
G. I know. But what can I do when I feel impelled by duty ? I can imagine circumstances when I may feel it my clear duty to go against the established rules. In such circumstances I cannot allow myself to be bound down by any commitment whatsoever.
